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    This CD captures two years of songwriting, just Gnome and guitar, live in front of an intimate audience in a run down hipster venue in Vancouver. It reflects her first two years as a person who actually succeeded in making dirty country music into a job. Things get dark and sad and confusing, but mostly just stupid and gross and hilarious. Comes with a lyrics booklet so you can sing along.

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lyrics

i went looking for a man
just to hold his hand
up against my clam
'til he knew how to shazam me

i didn't want his money
i just wanted his honey
honey is a metaphor
for penis

i'm an independent lady
i ain't nobody's baby
but i'm undereducated
and i'm really poor

early in the morning
with no apparent warning
he paid for my breakfast
i didn't expect this

i would have fucked him for free
but i didn't stop him from buying it for me
it was hard to deny the smell of bacon
and my belly was aching

am i a hooker now
am i a hooker now
'cause technically i don't see
the difference between me
and women advertising
their pricy punani

i'm a hooker now
exchanging my vagina
for meal down at the diner
i'm a hooker now
i think that i'm a hooker now

why hadn't i discovered this before?
eggs with a side of
feeling like a dirty whore

will it be easier to tempt me
if my fridge at home is empty

my friends say
"you gotta let him be the man"
but that just don't feel right
i'd rather he put his mouth where his money is
oh he can blow it all in one night

then again
birth control make up and tampons
they don't really pay for themselves
and an orgasm is really nice but it
won't fill up my shelves

free drinks at the bar
less hassle at the border
better tips for titties
when you take their order

all that we do
can come with a reward
if we can get
a penis hard

are we all hookers now
a bunch of hookers in the night
'cause technically i don't see
the difference between me
and women who demand
a little money for their clam

are we all hookers now
exchanging a vagina
for a life a little finer
are we hookers now
i think that we're all hookers now

but a ten dollar breakfast
for fucking all night
that's pretty inexpensive
it's a bargain price

would it be worse
if i did it for free
or should i ask for more
it's confusing me

city nights, filthy dives
gender fights and trophy wives
now i know why people call it
nature's wallet

all the women who independent
throw your hands up at me
all the honeys who makin' money
throw your hands up at me
all the mommas who profit dollas
throw your hands up at me
or just throw money, please throw your money
i'm so fucking hungry

but here's the solution i see
you don't need to buy me a meal or a drink to fuck me
no you don't need to spend a dime
to get your sexy vagina time

instead, if you could insist
in your daily life, in any way that you can
to work towards a world where women get paid the same amount
for the same job as a man

then i will totally suck your dick
so get to it and get to it quick
if you smash that glass ceiling down
i'm gonna grab your body and go to town

and if you help the little girls of the world
go to school so they can learn how to read
then i'll do fisting or anal or threesomes or anything
you sexually need

i will fuck the shit out of you
yes i will fuck the shit out of you
i know it seems kind of strange but i'll be
a hooker for positive change

credits

from The Lady of the Night, released February 8, 2015

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about

Shirley Gnome Vancouver, British Columbia

From the west coast of Canada comes this multi-award winning cabaret musician, whose all-original, uncensored music about human nature is hilarious, honest, subversive, smart, empowering, taboo and not for the faint of heart. Her cleverly carnal lyrics go down smooth with her inappropriately gorgeous vocals, and her charm will disarm you through even the most provocative topics. ... more

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